Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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