ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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