i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
