ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
