I heard we made out
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
