So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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