they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize