Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize