Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
