I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize