Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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