Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
