i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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