Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
