Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
