dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize