we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
