I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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