I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
