I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize