yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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