I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
