I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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