Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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