I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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