Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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