Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
