I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
