I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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