I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
