Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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