have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think a kid would responsible me up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
