lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
