I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
