my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
