Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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