I faked an abortion last night.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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