he puts the penis in happiness.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
