just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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