420 ftw
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
