IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
