is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
