i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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