That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
