So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You made out with two different species that night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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