She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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