she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
