i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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