ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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