I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
