just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
