We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
