Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize