I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
