Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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