end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
