I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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