Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
