you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
