Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
